Friday, December 23, 2011

the best birthday gift

I got early! Last night I went to see Riley and he was doing his thing...sleeping but opening his eyes every now and then to check if I was still there (when I stopped talking to him to let him sleep)and kicking and stretching. He does those things every time we are there but it is still the cutest thing!

I was talking with the nurse (I usually have a few questions) and asked when she thought we'd be able to hold him and she said, much to my surprise, "well he is doing really well and is stable so I think you could probably hold him today if you want." If I want?! She didn't have to ask twice!

You know that nervous excited feeling you sometimes get when something big is about to happen? I felt all that. And surprisingly calm at the same time.

I stayed to do his cares as well and then after that I got to hold him. They don't like to disturb the little ones more than they have to so right after cares is the ideal time. When the nurse lifted him out of the incubator I realized just how small he is! I don't know why, but seeing him in the incubator he looks bigger. She brought him over to me and laid him on my chest and he snuggled up, nice and comfy! Even though he was out of the incubator he had my body heat plus being covered so he wouldn't get chilly. He was still being monitored as well just in case because sometimes being held can cause stress, but he was loving it! The nurse said its good for them to have the skin to skin contact, plus he was near my heart and the sound of the mothers heartbeat soothes them because that is such a familiar sound to them. When it was time for him to go back, he was sleepy and calm and happy...I felt the same way. Although not as sleepy probably. I still had to drive home. But happy and calm and a million other emotions!

The time went by slow and fast at the same time. I wanted to take in every second of our time together. I couldn't believe I was actually holding my baby for the first time! It is one of those moments and feelings that will be ingrained in me forever. There are not even sufficient words to describe what I felt. It's probably what every mom feels the first time she holds her new baby and to me it meant so much since I had to wait to hold him. I can't wait for Rocky to be able to hold him too. :)

So that was my best early birthday present! It was unexpected but came at the perfect time!

1 comment:

  1. Aww that is seriously the best feeling. When Chloe was in the NICU I couldn't hold her for two days and even that was awful for me. The minute I could hold her I was so excited and all these emotions like you had today came through. I am so glad he is doing so well!! What a little fighter!