closer...

so we are down to the final days in the nicu (for what it looks like right now) because riley is eating really well and that is the main thing he needs to do to be able to go home. He has a minimum to eat but is on his own eating schedule, which has been about every 4 hours or so.
he is on simalac neosure, which is for babies born prematurely, but when he goes to the doctor his pediatrician will let us know if he will stay on that or switch to something else. i picked some up just in case and the hospital will give us some as well when he leaves (nice, 'cause it is expensive!). I looked for the dr. brown bottle which is what he eats the best with (he has tried various bottles during his stay) and I bought the standard flow but he needs the preemie flow still so i will look for those tomorrow...although he will also have the one he uses at the hospital. anyways, this is just me rambling because i am all nervous and excited and cant believe this is really going to be happening in the next few days. We are rooming in at the hospital tomorrow night, which is basically staying the whole night in one of the rooms reserved for parents and it is just us and riley, like a dry run before going home so if we have any issues or questions there is someone right there to ask. plus, the nurses and his doctor can see how he does.
anyways, i am here to close the restaurant and rocky is at home painting our apartment, it is looking so good! we are doing the kitchen a bright light green and the living room is going to be a "virgin olive oil" yellow green but more yellow. i will take pictures, it looks a lot better than it sounds even reading back how i described it! we like light bright modern fun colors and rocky says it looks amazing. we did part of the kitchen yesterday (painting over a melon orangy color) and i loved how it looked even partly painted! the only thing is that rocky said he could do it with a quart and i thought a gallon would be better because even if we ended up with extra it would be better to have extra than too little and the prices of two quarts and a gallon were almost the same. well, we went back for another quart for both the kitchen and living room plus a quart of white for the living room (because we are doing two walls white) but in the end it will look amazing and i love rocky for taking the time to paint it before riley comes home! we need to do riley's room too but we tackled the living/kitchen areas first.
besides that, work is work and i am hoping to start working more hours from home once riley is home. going up to the hospital and being up there takes big chunks out of my day. i would not trade the time i am spending with him for anything but it will be so nice to not have daily trips up the mountain and be able to have mister riley home with us!

gettting close!

time has been flying by! my updates haven't been as frequent as my visits to the hospital but now we are in the last stages of his time in the nicu, which means MORE hospital visits, mainly focusing on the times when he is eating because he does better with consistency vs having different people feeding him all the time (that's what they tell me) but I think he really just likes it when his mama or his daddy feed him! He has done really well with us, drinking all his milk with only a few times drinking just a partial (the rest being given to him through his NG tube). He has to drink 3 full bottles during a 12-hour shift before he can go on his own schedule and they just go off his cues with when he eats and how much. He has been up and down as far as taking bottles. His doctor says that as he grows and gets stronger he will be able to last longer drinking. He seems pretty strong to me, he can lift his head and upper body up off my shoulder when i am burping him, but i know he needs to keep building up his endurance.

Riley is now weighing 6lbs 3oz! He is long and skinny and fits into newborn clothes but hasn't quite filled them out yet. He is so cuteee and we cant wait until he is finally home. Not to say that him being home won't have its challenges but at the same time it will be nice to not have to go up to the hospital various times throughout the day! I think Riley will probably appreciate a change of scene too ;)

We have gotten his pack n play (which he will sleep in to start with), carseat, we were gifted a great baby swing and playmat from my cousins, and he has also gotten some clothes and diapers plus homemade gifts from family and some friends. I am trying to make sure I have all the essentials...yesterday I realized I didn't have any baby shampoo or lotion so i picked some of that up. I love DI (a secondhand store) for picking out fun children and baby books for cheap! Riley loves it when we read together, he is so attent.

I really want to paint his room this weekend just in case he is home next week. He wont be sleeping in his room for a while but we will have some of his things set up in there.

anyways, i am a little sleep deprived right now (yeah, that doesn't start start when he gets home, it started when he was born! although i admit that i am probably getting more than a new mom with her baby at home with her from the start). I went to give Riley his 5am feeing, so I got up about 4:15 am.

also, happy birthday Rocky!!! You are the best daddy Riley could have and he reminds me so much of you, you two make life so much fun and so much of an adventure! Love you!!!

Riley has had a good week overall! He is doing better with his feedings but still is taking some of his feedings through is feeding tube. He gets tired sometimes and can't finish his bottle so they give him the rest through his tube. He has gotten his rhythm down more as far as sucking, swallowing, and breathing goes.

Riley is now 5lbs 4oz! He gets cuter every day and is so attentive to what is going on around him. He has the funniest expressions and is awake more now as well vs sleeping a lot of the day, which the nurses say is normal for his development.

He had an ear test today and passed with flying colors :)

I have been helping with his baths sometimes, he usually loves them but yesterday we were giving him a bath and he was not happy about it! We washed his arms and legs and the rest of his body and it wasn't until I got to washing his hair and massaging his scalp that he got all happy and started cooing...it made us all laugh (there were 2 nurses that ended up helping me give him a bath).

Today when I went to see Riley he looked different to me and I realized his feeding tube was gone! It was only because he had pulled it out :/ so I fed him, hoping he would take his whole bottle so they wouldn't have to put a new one in, but he got sleepy again about halfway through. Soon we will graduate from the feeding tube! It is pretty much the only thing keeping him from coming home.

Which leads to making sure we have everything we need for him before he comes home! The main things are his bassinet, car seat, stroller, carrier. I have looked at a lot of different ones and it now just comes down to buying (which we will be doing this weekend!) We have to bring his carseat in to do a carseat test, which is basically putting him in the carseat for a certain amount of time and making sure he can breathe ok while there. So many little details! P.S. I should probably have those things already but I am one of those people who like to make sure I am buying the right thing and I like to research and read reviews on different products...so thats why it has taken so long. Plus, going into those baby stores is overwhelming because there are so many choices! Oh, and we aren't going to get him a crib yet because he will be in our room for a while before he graduates to his own room :)

Happy 2 months!

I can't believe Riley is 2 months old today! We celebrated with lots of birthday kisses. :)

Riley graduated to an open crib and is maintaining his body temperature well (one of the things he needs to do to go home). He likes being swaddled as long as he has one arm free.

He is doing okay on bottle feeding, it is a learning process and sometimes he decides he doesn't want the bottle, sometimes he takes part of one (like this morning) and sometimes he falls asleep (eating takes a lot of energy!). He has to be taking all his feedings by bottle before being able to go home.

Riley weighs 4lbs 6 ounces! It is amazing to look back at his pictures and see his progress...our little guy is growing up ;)

I love all his expressions and how he wakes up to see me at least for a moment when I go visit him. Sometimes he is wide awake and we have fun talking and counting his fingers and reading together. They have a lot of children's books donated to the nicu and maybe Riley is a little young to look at the pictures but I know he likes hearing our voices.

more pics!

It's been a crazy week around here. Here are some of the pics from the last few days! Riley is growing but has had kind of a rough week as well. Thanks for all of you who are keeping him in your prayers! It is incredible to see how he is changing and we can't get over how cute he is. :) I love how he is so smiley and I was able to catch some of his smiles on camera, even some smiles in his sleep!

pics

Riley wore clothes for the first time yesterday! He looked so different...so "grown up" baby style. The pics with him in clothes are from yesterday and the pics of him just in his diaper are from Tuesday. Enjoy! I have a detailed post about how he is doing coming up...but real quick, he is 3lbs 9oz and they are working on being able to transition him to a crib!

A quick update...Riley is the cutest ever!! He is changing and growing and we love him more and more every day. He is now 3lbs 8oz and it was another little growth spurt for him and the nurse weighed him 3 times to make sure the scale wasn't off because she couldn't believe it! I love to see how he is plumping up a little more as he gains weight.

It has been great to be able to hold him, especially when he is awake (or asleep but it is more fun when he is awake!) and we love talking to him and touching his soft skin and giving him baby kisses.

I love that Rocky was able to go up to the hospital to see him yesterday and the tender moments they had together. Rocky can see more how he has changed since he isn't able to get up to the hospital every day. As he changes our discussion continues about who he looks like!

They did have to put his oxygen canula back in yesterday because he started having some A's and B's and they wanted to make sure he was getting enough flow. This is normal and they will try taking it out again later on but they are also going to try bottle feeding him this week and since that takes a lot of effort they sometimes do better to be on oxygen so they don't have to worry about breathing and eating at the same time. We are confidant he will do just great!

Overnight

Riley seems to have grown overnight! No joke...I am there everyday and on Tuesday when I went to see him he just looked so much bigger. It kind of blew me away. I just kept looking at him in amazement, like, who is this baby?? Of course it was Riley but oman, even the next day I was still in shock. His head is bigger...his body is bigger...he looks longer...he is filling out more! He is now 3lbs 2oz so he has gained a whole pound since being born (he had a lot of ups and downs with his weight gain). So, I know it is not a lot and it has been gradual but this little guy is not so little anymore! Although of course he is still pretty little compared to newborns born full term but that's a given.

I didn't take any pictures yesterday. He had a rough day because he had an eye exam and if you have ever had an eye exam, imagine trying to give a baby an eye exam when they don't open their eyes a lot, let alone hold their eyes still when they are open. Poor little guy...I don't like to think about it. Thankfully his eyes are fine! However, he did not want to be messed with after the whole ordeal (they told me about it- I wasn't there) and was sleeping a ton. They kept the lights turned way down so it wasn't as ideal for taking pictures either. He did open his eyes to let me know he knew I was there when I was talking to him and gave me a few sleepy smiles.

They also took out his oxygen tube Tuesday in the early morning and he has been doing great breathing on his own so far! If he has problems they may need to put it in again but for now he hasn't had any. So he just has his little feeding tube going into his nose now. That will be in for a while because they won't start trying to bottle feed him for a few more weeks.

Here are a couple pics from the weekend. I will take more today and you will see how he now doesn't have the oxygen canula and possibly see the difference that he is bigger!

Is it really Friday already? can't believe it. So to catch up a little...i was feeling better monday so of course first thing i went and saw riley! love that little guy. a few things...

~He had an eye test and they found out he has no problems with his vision! yay!! He does have some vessels that are still developing but that is normal and they ruled out an eye disease that is common in preemies.

~He moved...to another wing of the nicu. He was in the~ low weight wing but they decided he was stable and good to move to a different area. He has awesome nurses and they have been really helpful and nice in answering all my questions. They also gave me a textbook size "Parent's guide to Preemies" so maybe there are guidebooks! ;)

~He may have an infection because his red blood count has been kind of low so they had to take some blood yesterday and they are going to run some tests. He did so well and i held him and talked to him and he only cried a little!

~Funny story...the nurse had him on his stomach in his incubator (this helps with digestion) and had got him all settled in and went to check on another baby. When she came back over to see how Riley was doing he had scooted all the way up to the edge of his incubator! She said he just looked at her with this little look in his eyes like, "see what i did!" It still makes me laugh.

~He loves being held and it is so nice and peaceful to be there holding him if he is sleeping and talking to him. His weight goes up and down so it's not too much different than before. They are supplementing him to make sure he is getting enough calories.

Just a couple pics from the weekend...well these were taken Friday. I had food poisoning over the weekend and felt awful so I didn't make it up to the hospital to see him yesterday :( That means lots of calls to the hospital to see how he is doing and Rocky trying to make me feel better by saying that I will be able to better see how he has changed after a day of not seeing him. He says that because he wasn't able to go up to the hospital for a day or two and when he saw Riley next he said he looked so different. Either way, I miss my Riley!

He is 2lbs 11oz. They took the feeding tube out of his mouth and put it in his nose, which means a smaller tube and more comfortable for him.

He is sound asleep in the pictures but don't be fooled...he moves a lot in his sleep and he is pretty active when he is awake as well! Either way he is so cute and we are so happy with the progress he is making!

To not get behind on blogging, let me just say that I can't believe Riley is almost 1 month old! It's true what Rocky says when I sometimes get down, that Riley will be home before we know it! He is as cute as ever and is changing as he grows. Rocky thinks he will have my nose now vs his and Riley now weighs 2 lbs 7 oz! He is on his way up! The extra ounces are plumping him up little by little!

In a couple days Riley will be getting less oxygen because he is doing so well breathing on his own. I know he is still a while away from coming home but it is a step in the right direction! I was talking to his nurse last night and there are some things that need to happen before he is cleared to go home. A lot of people (including myself to start) think that it is only about how much he weighs and after he gets up to a certain weight he will be able to come home but there is a little more to it than that.

He needs to be eating on his own (either through breastfeeding or bottle feeding), maintain his temperature in an open crib (he will go to an open crib later on), not have any dips in his heart rate (which they call 0's, A's and B's depending on how much it drops- this is normal in preemies and goes away as they get older), have steady weight gain, and they also usually send the babies home off oxygen so when he can breathe on his own.

Riley right now is breathing really well on his own. He is still getting fed through a feeding tube mostly because he is still so young. His temperature is steady but he is still too young to be in an open crib and he has had less O's, A's and B's but obviously we don't want any of those when he is ready to go home! So some things just come with time. We are being patient- although sometimes I just want to unhook him from the monitors and take him home with me because he is so cute and funny and I don't like missing moments with him! But at the same time, I know he needs to be taken care of in a way that is done best in the nicu, as hard as it is for me to say that because I wanted to take care of him through the whole pregnancy and have a normal delivery. But things happen for a reason and I am thankful that he is doing so well and we keep praying for his health and progress and really I just try to focus on that and stay positive because some things we'll never know the "why" for and I could think of all the what if's...from what if when my water broke I had known it was actually my water breaking...to so many others. But I try not to. Positive thoughts! And every day when I go see Riley and when he goes and grabs my finger or makes a funny expression while I'm talking to him or is all nice and calm when we are holding him, I think about all the wonderful times we will have together in the future and I know we have so much to be grateful for and we pray for all those babies and their families who are going through so much more than we are and also those we know who are going through some very hard trials in their lives.

Happy New Year!

Happy new year 2012! This year has a lot of new adventures in store and we are excited that Riley will be part of them. He is growing and changing and we love the time we spend with him getting to know him and seeing his personality and how much spirit he has in him! We took a ton of pictures in the last few days on my phone (some are clearer than others) and here are a few I uploaded.

It was great seeing Riley a few nights ago because we got to hold him and took our first family picture! He is doing well, and is now weighing 2 lbs 4 oz! Since taking these pictures he has plumped up a little more (I can tell in his arms).
They did start giving him a protein supplement to help with his weight gain but took him off it today because he wasn't having a very good reaction to it so they will see how he gains without it, and if he needs something extra they will try something else.

We try to go see Riley during the hours when they do his cares because he is awake and it is fun to see him with his eyes open! Although, if he is sleeping he will sometimes wake up if we start talking to him (or laughing at his cute facial expressions he makes while he sleeps!) He has given us more smiles in the last couple days, if they are jst gas bubbles don't tell me, I will still say its because he is happy to see us!

Here are some pictures! It is interesting, because when I take pictures of Riley in his incubator it is hard to compare his size to anything (they don't let us put anything in his incubator to compare) but in the pictures holding him you can see a little more his size (mostly head size because he is all swaddled up!).

Just a quick little update! We went to see Riley tonight and he was up to some tricks...he decided he didn't like the oxygen tube that goes in his nose (although who would like that?) and he learned how to pull it out! He has done it various times throughout the day and even did it once while we were there with him. He was sneaky about it though ;) He moved one hand up to his face and he likes to sleep with his hands near his face so we didn't notice at first, but he pulled out the oxygen tube and was content breathing on his own! They are keeping him on low flow oxygen which is letting him breathe on his own but opening his lungs up a little more so he doesn't have to put in as much effort breathing. So that was funny to hear about, the good part is that when he does pull it out they are alerted so they can put it back in for him even though I'm sure he doesn't want them to!

One of the best parts of Christmas was us going to visit Riley...I can't believe how he is changing little by little. I see him every day so sometimes I can't tell until I am looking at his pictures. Rocky wasn't able to go visit for a couple days and he felt like Riley looked a little different. Either way, he is just so cute! :) We are both so glad he is healthy and he is growing! He is gaining weight and is now 2lbs 2oz! He is doing well on his feedings. He has some reflux and sometimes he tries to keep it down and that affects his breathing. His doctors say he should grow out of it as he grows and his system matures.

We took a bunch of pictures on Christmas but I am trying to send them to my gmail from my phone and it hasn't finished syncing up so hopefully later tonight or tomorrow I will have more pictures ready!

Speaking of Christmas, Riley got spoiled this year from family and friends who were so thoughtful to think of him. Thank you! I told Riley all about his gifts and all of you who are thinking about him and praying for him.

Today Riley was feeling nice and feisty and wan't happy to get his diaper changed! (This isn't anything new though!) He made quite a fuss but it is just so cute because he is so little but moves around so much and his face scrunches up and I can't help but laugh a little as I try to calm him down. He just fusses for a little bit and then decides to chill and watch everything going on around him.

the best birthday gift

I got early! Last night I went to see Riley and he was doing his thing...sleeping but opening his eyes every now and then to check if I was still there (when I stopped talking to him to let him sleep)and kicking and stretching. He does those things every time we are there but it is still the cutest thing!

I was talking with the nurse (I usually have a few questions) and asked when she thought we'd be able to hold him and she said, much to my surprise, "well he is doing really well and is stable so I think you could probably hold him today if you want." If I want?! She didn't have to ask twice!

You know that nervous excited feeling you sometimes get when something big is about to happen? I felt all that. And surprisingly calm at the same time.

I stayed to do his cares as well and then after that I got to hold him. They don't like to disturb the little ones more than they have to so right after cares is the ideal time. When the nurse lifted him out of the incubator I realized just how small he is! I don't know why, but seeing him in the incubator he looks bigger. She brought him over to me and laid him on my chest and he snuggled up, nice and comfy! Even though he was out of the incubator he had my body heat plus being covered so he wouldn't get chilly. He was still being monitored as well just in case because sometimes being held can cause stress, but he was loving it! The nurse said its good for them to have the skin to skin contact, plus he was near my heart and the sound of the mothers heartbeat soothes them because that is such a familiar sound to them. When it was time for him to go back, he was sleepy and calm and happy...I felt the same way. Although not as sleepy probably. I still had to drive home. But happy and calm and a million other emotions!

The time went by slow and fast at the same time. I wanted to take in every second of our time together. I couldn't believe I was actually holding my baby for the first time! It is one of those moments and feelings that will be ingrained in me forever. There are not even sufficient words to describe what I felt. It's probably what every mom feels the first time she holds her new baby and to me it meant so much since I had to wait to hold him. I can't wait for Rocky to be able to hold him too. :)

So that was my best early birthday present! It was unexpected but came at the perfect time!

out with the old, in with the new

I had a surprise when I went to see Riley today! They had taken out his feeding tube that goes in through his mouth and had replaced it with a smaller one that goes in through his nose, which is actually more comfortable. He didn't seem to like the mouth one very much (it can irritate the throat more) and seemed more at ease tonight. Plus, I loved seeing his little mouth with no tubes going in. He is soo cute! Pictures don't do him justice, seriously!
When I got to the nicu and to the area where Riley is, I opened the main doors and I heard a baby crying and I knew it was Riley...and it was! They were changing his bedding and setting up his feeding and he was not liking it! He was fussing but then settled down. His nurse says that he will sometimes make a big fuss but not for very long. Plus, I started talking to him so I like to think that settled him down as well ;). He was smiling today some...a few little smile that came and went before I could whip the camera out. In the meantime he are a few others!
Also, he is weighing 1 lb 15 oz, which is the same from yesterday.







This is the mouth feeding tube vs the one the goes in through his nose (which is really thin and I could hardly see it next to his oxygen).

our little monkey boy

Rocky calls Riley our little monkey boy because of the hair he has on his shoulders and back. He doesn't know where it came from but the nurses say it will fall out in the coming weeks. He had blonde hair on his body at first and a lot of that has fallen out...it is so interesting to see how he is changing and growing. When I see him kicking and moving his arms around its like I can see in front of me how he was when he was moving when he was in my belly. He loves loves to stretch out his legs!
Today was great spending time with him because Rocky got to spend some extra one on one time with him and they were both loving it! They have a connection (like I always knew they would) and Riley is so content having contact with his daddy and when his daddy talks to him. I loved seeing them together!
Riley has graduated to bigger diapers. I will have to bring home one of the original sized diapers he was wearing and hold it up to a regular newborn diaper to show the comparison. The little umbilical cord stump (I'm not sure what it is really called!) fell out today and so his little belly button is showing now. So cute! Well, basically everything about him is cute ;)
I bought our Christmas stockings yesterday (better late than never! I never found ours from last year) and am excited to fill them, including one for Riley! Mostly so he can look back and photos when he is bigger and know he had a Christmas stocking. I found the cutest monkey for Riley's stocking because he is our little monkey boy! Stockings are more tradition from my family, Rocky didn't have them growing up but I love how they are filled with random fun gifts and growing up they held us over until it was time to open presents...good times! I can't believe it is almost Christmas...time is flying and before we know it Riley will be coming home with us!

The Weekend

Saturday was great because I got to drive up and see Riley...I had to wait to drive for a while but I was itching to be able to spend more time with him so I dropped Rocky off at the restaurant after running some errands together and headed up the mountain!
I love that Riley was awake and alert for quite a while while I was there. I was able to have some contact with him, just gently placing my hands over his arms and legs, which is called "containment", which he really likes (especially from his mama!). He gets really wiggly and likes to kick around and move his arms a lot but settles down when he has contact. I love it when his eyes are open! I stayed for quite a while...I could stay all day, I love being with him and just watching him, even if he is sleeping.
He has gained a little weight and yesterday his practitioner says that if he keeps eating well then they will wean him off his IV that is giving him supplemental nutrition and he will just be on breastmilk and they will try adding a calorie booster to make sure he is getting enough calories, especially because he is an active little guy and the more he moves the more calories he burns. Which leads me to a little story the nurse told me about Riley yesterday...
We were visiting Riley at the time when they do his cares, which include changing his diaper, taking his temperature, etc. I love being there to help with that and after changing his diaper the nurse went to shift him to his side (he has time on his side and tummy to help with his digestion but he loves being on his back the best!) and she said she was going to secure his diaper a little more because the other day she had changed him and then a little later when she went to check on him, he had squirmed out of his diaper! He must of been pretty happy about it because even though he doesnt like to be moved a whole lot he was content and just looking at the nurse while she changed all his bedding (he had a little accident!) and put his diaper back on! We will have our hands full with this little guy when he gets to come home and it's something we are eagerly looking forward to.

Progress!

Riley has been doing great! He "graduated" to a different room, meaning he is progressing! Yesterday we went to see him but it was right during shift change, which i had forgotten about, so rocky had to go back to work and i stayed at the hospital. When I was able to go in and see him he was wide awake with his eyes open! I hadn't seen him yet with his little eyes open and it was so precious! I changed his diaper and got to have some contact with him. The nurse says that depending on his oxygen levels and weight gain, we may be able to hold him next week! That would be great because we would be able to have skin time with him. We don't want to get our hopes up too high, but he is a fighter and a feisty little guy (even the nurses say so!) and we are so thrilled with the progress he is making...we know the prayers of everyone who is praying for him make all the difference! They help us as well.

Rocky got to the hospital a little later on and although Riley was resting/sleeping, when his Daddy got there and started talking to him, he opened his eyes again...to let his Daddy know that he knew he was there! It was so great because Rocky got to see him awake and another side of cuteness!

1 week old!

Riley is one week old today! These pictures are from his first week. The last one should be the first one because that is when he was on his first oxygen machine and the tubes went right into his lungs. In the other two he has the oxygen flowing in through his nose, which is a lot easier on him! I like that in the first one you can see a little bit of his hair and more of the shape of his face.

We went and saw him last night and he was off the light for the bilirubin, but is back on today. The nurse said it's normal for him to go on and off. His oxygen levels are really low, at 22-24%, which means he is breathing a bigger percentage on his own! I love that I can call in and get updates on him anytime.

Yesterday he was sleeping a lot so we just stayed a while and watched him and talked to him...I think he knows when we are there because we were on one side of his incubator and his head was turned more to the other side and we couldn't get to the other side because there was a bunch of stuff going on with the baby next to him. He started to cry and fuss and the nurse turned him towards us and he calmed right down. Of course he wanted to see his mama and daddy! :) Two of his aunts also stopped by to visit him in the evening when we were there.

We are so thankful for how well he is doing and how he is improving day by day. He is a feisty little guy and we love him more every day!